Mean Attorney

I just had Nick listen to the way an attorney spoke to me, and he said, "Good thing it wasn't Bring-Your-Husband-to-Work Day."  Tee hee.  I love that he has my back!  Maybe I should post a picture of him on my laptop doing the classic Sandoval Glare.

Fart

Nick:  Is this your water or mine?

Stacey:  Mine.  (Faaaart)  That's yours, though.

Sam-wich Day!

As some of you may know, one of my favorite comfort foods is a sub.  Well, I haven't been feeling well today, so Nick suggested we have subs for dinner.  As he was leaving to pick them up, he asked me if I wanted a 6-inch or a 12-inch.  I said, "You might as well get a 12.  It's always nice to have an extra sub laying around."

Then as we were eating our delicious veggie subs, a bunch of goodies fell out of Nick's sub and onto the floor.  He said, "That's a lot of sandwich guts."  Hahaha!  Just what this sick girl needed. 

Stinky Feet

Stacey Dee:  Your feet stink.  Aren't those new shoes?

Nick:  It's not my shoes that stink, it's my feet.  It's like blaming your pants for having a stinky butthole.

Schweddy Balls

I saw this the other day on Pinterest, and it made me think of how Nick and I met.  Back in the day, we used to go to this boxing class.  And, as some of you know, the Stephens fam are super sweaters, so by the end of class, I looked like a wet dog.  Not cute.  Somehow I still managed to catch Nick's eye, and I knew he was a keeper when he was able to see past the sweat and runny mascara.  Even to this day he thinks I'm beautiful when I feel like I look my absolute worst.  Seriously so thankful for that dude and the love that he pours on me every day.

Robots

Stacey Dee:  What's that sound?

Nick:  What sound?

Stacey Dee:  I thought I heard robots.

Duck Wearing a Top Hat

Regarding one of Nick's farts: "That sounded like a duck wearing a top hat."

Babies and Bad Grammar

I was on a roll last night...

We were flipping through the guide trying to find something to watch, and I noticed a show called "Babies Behind Bars."  Sadly, the premise behind the show was NOT what I was hoping it would be.

Next up...

I was looking at a website that said, "We are updating this to include are new menu!"  As I was showing Nick, I said, "Why don't people get preafrooders?!"

Baby Trashes Bar

This had us belly laughing for days...

Mickey Mouse Hands

Stacey Dee:  It feels like you're scratching my back with Mickey Mouse hands.

Unicorns

Stacey Dee:  Do unicorns fly, or are they just land horses?

All-Star Game

Stacey Dee:  I like their basketball suits.

The Incredible Hulk vs. Hulk Hogan

Nick and I were talking about the fact that I'm a lot like The Incredible Hulk when I get mad.  I looked at him confused and said, "Are you talking about the yellow one?"

Here's Your Sign

Instead of saying "Here's your sign," I said "There's your car."  Not even close!

Duane "Dog" Chapman

Dog talking to a fugitive:  "Don't get jazzy with me!"

Silas' Heart

My sister, Lindsay, told me the other day that she was rocking Silas and was telling him that Jesus lives in his heart and that He is always with him even when no one else is around.  And Silas said, "Hmm...Mama!  Dee Dee heart, Silas heart!"  Oh, how I love that little man so much!

Family Guy

So last night we were watching Family Guy, and it was an episode where Peter Griffin was trying Red Bull for the first time.  Well, he was spazzing out and running around all over the place because he was drinking a ton of it.  I said, "Why isn't he losing any weight?"  Nick said, "Well, Red Bull has a lot of sugar in it and because he's a CARTOON!"

This also reminded me of a time we were watching a different episode of Family Guy and they were eating bacon and eggs, and I said, "Mmmm!  That looks so good!"